'Eating is natural. Gaining weight is your choice'.
I think it will become a little motto I say to myself when I think I need to eat. I did well yesterday, and I could convince myself that I really didn't need the food. Today however, was a different story.
I was arguing with myself all morning about weather or not I should go to the gym today. I was there last night and worked myself pretty damn hard, and needed today to recover properly/sufficiently. Downfall: All I did all day was eat. I was so good until 2.30 (when I would have been gyming the shit out of it), I hadn't eaten or drank anything, but then I binged.
Because I didn't work-out today, I binged.
I'm so unbelieveably disgusted with myself. If I'd just gone and taken it somewhat easy than it would have been ok. I can't let this happen again. I feel sick to my stomach for it. I won't get a decent workout done until Tuesday at the earliest. I'd agreed to cover a shift at work tomorrow evening pre-binge, and I can't back out of it now. If I wasn't working I could easily get 2 hours done tomorrow in the gym, but no. I had to fuck up.
The only plus side to this is that it's given me the motivation to start the SGD tomorrow. I can't fail with this. Ideally I'll be too busy once I get back to college with finishing up assignments etc and studying for finals. I also have the 21st that may or may go ahead at this stage...atm it's looking unlikely.
I'll have to be pretty careful next Thursday. Vickies and Mick have organised a night out for the Welfairies and Ents Crew; just to say thanks for all our help throughout the year.
Problem is, they've arranged a meal in Captain Americas, followed by free night out clubbing - free meal and drinks all night courtesy of the SU. FML. Fuck food and fuck the empty calories of alochol. Going to have to go back to not drinking, spin the excuse of getting back into shape for training, works every time :)
So getting back to the point of the title of this post, and for the post itself; eating is natural...some would say it's essential. But gaining weight is a choice, but it won't be my choice. My choice is to loose weight, to keep loosing weight.
I will have my abs of steel one day, and one day soon