Eating is Natural, or so I'm told

I was reading 'The Virgin Suicides' by Jeffrey Eugenides today, and I came across this quote

'Eating is natural. Gaining weight is your choice'.

I think it will become a little motto I say to myself when I think I need to eat. I did well yesterday, and I could convince myself that I really didn't need the food. Today however, was a different story.

I was arguing with myself all morning about weather or not I should go to the gym today. I was there last night and worked myself pretty damn hard, and needed today to recover properly/sufficiently. Downfall: All I did all day was eat. I was so good until 2.30 (when I would have been gyming the shit out of it), I hadn't eaten or drank anything, but then I binged.

Because I didn't work-out today, I binged.

I'm so unbelieveably disgusted with myself. If I'd just gone and taken it somewhat easy than it would have been ok. I can't let this happen again. I feel sick to my stomach for it. I won't get a decent workout done until Tuesday at the earliest. I'd agreed to cover a shift at work tomorrow evening pre-binge, and I can't back out of it now. If I wasn't working I could easily get 2 hours done tomorrow in the gym, but no. I had to fuck up.

The only plus side to this is that it's given me the motivation to start the SGD tomorrow. I can't fail with this. Ideally I'll be too busy once I get back to college with finishing up assignments etc and studying for finals. I also have the 21st that may or may go ahead at this stage...atm it's looking unlikely.

I'll have to be pretty careful next Thursday. Vickies and Mick have organised a night out for the Welfairies and Ents Crew; just to say thanks for all our help throughout the year.

Problem is, they've arranged a meal in Captain Americas, followed by free night out clubbing - free meal and drinks all night courtesy of the SU. FML. Fuck food and fuck the empty calories of alochol. Going to have to go back to not drinking, spin the excuse of getting back into shape for training, works every time :)

So getting back to the point of the title of this post, and for the post itself; eating is natural...some would say it's essential. But gaining weight is a choice, but it won't be my choice. My choice is to loose weight, to keep loosing weight.

I will have my abs of steel one day, and one day soon

April 27th

Didn't get as much done today as I'd hoped, and I won't get much done tomorrow either because I'm going shopping in the city.

I ate more that I'd planned to, about 500 cals more, it's disgusting I know. I went to the gym tonight to burn off as much as I could. Did a lot of weights, but could have done more, I'll do more next time.

I'm dreading stepping onto the scales tomorrow, I think I may avoid it. My plan is to not eat until I come home from the city, which should be around 2 or 3 ish. I'll have breakfast then, porridge made with water. Then dinner will be some vegetables. If necessary I'll have a piece of fruit or two, and drink some peppermint tea.

Bones are Beautiful

My hopes for the SGD

So this is the SGD, gonna start it by the end of the week.... Shall keep updating throughout the course of the diet. I want to complete the diet successfully, no cheating what-so-ever. Once I have done that, I will try the ABC diet, which is as follows:

A New Beginning

A new beginning and a fresh start. Re-writing this blog and giving it more time than I did before. I need to, it helps me keep on top of things and makes me see exactly were I'm going wrong and where I need to focus my attentions on.

My 21st is coming up soon, in about a month. I'm still in two minds as to whether or not I should go out. It is in the middle of finals after all....but I do have a few days off between exams off, including my birthday...so maybe I should....

I want to wear my ASOS dress, but I also want to loose 10lbs before I wear it out in public. I want to do the dress as much justice as I can, it really is a beautiful dress, the perfect dress...pity it has to be shown to the world on an imperfect body.

I may post pictures of it.....but maybe not. We'll see.

I feel like I need to transform like Hilary Duff did; once upon a time a fatty, but through hard work and determination she achieved her goal.