The Fight to be Thin

my dad has cancer, and i'm a complete wreck.
i can't stop crying.
I have no one i can go to; the girls are gossips, as soon as one of them know they all will, and i could really do without the mock sympathy from them.
The boy reckons we're better off as staying just friends, because if we bring benefits into it, things will only get complicated down the line, and we possibly won't remain friends afterwards.  which is fair enough, he values our friendship over sex, and i'm more important to him than just sex....but out of all the people in the world, he's the only person i want around me right now.  out of all the shoulders to cry on, i need his...but i can't ask him for that because i'll only wind up getting emotionally attached, and as it stands i'm already in denial about how much i really do want him.

i'm just the loneliest girl in the world right now...and theres nothing i can do to fix it